I’m starting to freak out about pre-med.
I should have started earlier. I’m two years behind — but even if I finish in two years, I’m not going to have the research work / organizations / sorority to back me up.
But I’m learning the importance of order and relaxation.
It makes all the difference. Thank you.
I talked to a chauvinist once, before I knew anything other than his patriotism or lack thereof. He wanted secrets and I wanted them gone.
“I’m lost,” he said, and I thought it was mysterious. I’m lonely, she said, and it sounded strange. I couldn’t believe them because they were perfect — I wanted to be them — I wanted their charisma, I wanted their voice, I wanted their talent and their perfection. It’s funny how people don’t know how beautiful they are.
My professor said our internal essence has external manifestations. I can feel it. if I didn’t have you to lose I’d wear my skin. There would be no reason to hide my scars. Maybe after a while I wouldn’t need them. I would transform and emerge a phoenix; I’d throw on a scarlet bohemian skirt and walk around barefoot and feel life a current of life flow beneath my feet. I’d streak it over my wrists and palms for good measure and feel safe for the first time. I’d do something crazy with my hair and carry my instrument everywhere, fiddle horsehair and tree sap against raw strings whenever I passed someone inspiring. My song would be vibrant and I would have hope. I’d start talking again. My eyes wouldn’t mirror the earth before a storm. I would be free.
Filled for filthy empathy - recognize
that I see oceans in your eyes, they roar
Tides rush for futile signs; sin sighs.
Your lover’s opaque eye knows fate adores
Your desperate waves that crash and churn ‘gainst
They only long to taste her salty skin
to kiss svelte ocean lips
to thrust against her frigid shores
to rush away, to beg for more.
There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.